To Make Peace in My Mind by Idols

안녕하세요(Annyeonghaseyo, it means "hello" in Korean).

I am watching Galileo (2007,Fuji TV). I only watch chapter 4 because I just wanna see Shingo-chan(Shingo Katori).

Shingo was a member of SMAP from 1988 to 2016. SMAP belonged to Johnny's Association and had six members. They were Masahiro Nakai, Takuya Kimura, Goro Inagaki, Katsuyuki Mori, Tsuyoshi Kusanagi, and Shingo. They released their first CD Can't Stop!!-LOVING-. In 1996, Katsuyuki dropped out SMAP and Johnny's to be a auto racer. Since then, SMAP had been worked with five members. Their most famous song is Sekai ni Hitotsu dake no Hana(2004,Victor Entertainment). 

After dissolution of SMAP, Masahiro is active on some TV shows. Takuya has been casted Kyojo Zero - Kazama Kimichika- since this April. Goro, Tsuyoshi, and Shingo retired Johnny's. They made their homepage named Atarashii Chizu(it means "new map" in Japanese). Goro shows himself on Shumi no Engei (2023, NHK). It is a TV program for people who wanna start making their garden. Tsuyoshi introduces his guitars on You Tube. Shingo dedicates himself to activities as a drawer, singer, and actor. His latest film is Inu mo Kuwa nedo Charlie wa Warau (2022, Kino Films). "Inu mo Kuwa nai" means to be disliked, hated, or ignored by other people. "Do" of "nedo" means "but". "Warau" means to laugh. 

I was Shingo's fan when I was eleven years old. I knew his birthday was January 31.   It is the day that A.A. Milne passed away(A.A. Milne's birthday is January 18. It is my favorite idol's birthday.). I have watched Shingo again on TV programs and radios since 2023. 

I have been sad for two years because of idols that I loved before.

From August in 2021 to December in 2022, I dedicated myself to three persons. They were members of different idol groups. Two of them had already retired from their groups. Another had been absent since December in 2020 because his mental health was bad. I made reports about countries and cities that they were familiar with.  For example, the one is a cast of drama that was located in Paris, France. He was also a cast of a TV program that introduces cultures around the world. He visited Paris in 2013 after his location for his drama. I wrote about France for him and my memories(actually, I studied French when I was a primary student). The second is from other Asia country. Her birthday is as same as A.A. Milne's mourning day . She is a udon(Japanese white noodle) restaurant's that names Konpira Chaya. The cheese curry udon is popular. She ate when she worked in Japan. Konpira is a God of Kotohira no Miya in Kagawa Prefecture. So I wrote about Konpira and Kagawa citizens' thought. The third is from Europe. He is interested in arts. He wrote a paper of art history when he was a high school student. I wrote about Van Gogh who is famous for Sunflowers. But the third graduated his group like the first and the second(but the second came back to her group in 20●●).

After dropping out of the three idols' fan, I had to think what I would do next. But I could do nothing because of them. I cried when I watched them on dramas, music programs, commercials, and magazines, etc. I was blocked by one idol's fan because I tweeted rude things "I am prefer not to see ○○ and ☆☆." Other users of Twitter were angry with me, too. Because of the event, I tried how to heel myself, but I could not. I could not see even the second celebrity because I felt sad.

In February, 2023, I watched Waratte Iitomo (2010, Fuji TV) on You Tube. Shingo was cast regularly on Monday at that time. The second idol I introduced was the guest on Monday. I was angry with Shingo because I wanna watch her. He was very After watching Iitomo, I thought that was a chance to be myself who love everyone. I thought it was bad to leave him out my territory. I wanted to write reports for other idols, comedians, and professors, etc. I have thought of it since autumn in 2022. 

Now  I am struggled with not only Shingo but also myself who wanna go back to the past. But the day will never come again. I must make good days better to make my family and friends happy. In the future, I wanna say, "it was the best in my life to cheer for my idols. And I wanna be helpful to other people who are suffering to something." Without prejudice, I wanna love idols who have never met before, and who I have loved before such as Shingo. By doing that, I wanna make peace in my mind🌸

I am makoto. 

Auf Wiedersehen("good bye" in German)👋